AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
