I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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