I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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