I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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