im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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