I want to walk on stilts...naked
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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