We're facebook friends in real life
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
