Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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