Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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