it wasn't lemon gatorade
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
