Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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