Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober

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  (407): Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober http://tfl.nu/epi9
  Replies (19) Good night (854) Bad night (2639)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.

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  (716): So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar. http://tfl.nu/a5mu
  Replies (64) Good night (6764) Bad night (694)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.

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  (229): He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records. http://tfl.nu/dlha
  Replies (41) Good night (9016) Bad night (1063)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.

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  (913): Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country. http://tfl.nu/x6hu
  Replies (33) Good night (5890) Bad night (958)
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  (760): View more from California

  You did not just play the dead husband card again.

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  (760): You did not just play the dead husband card again. http://tfl.nu/xl50
  Replies (20) Good night (1118) Bad night (5401)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall

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  (919): I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall http://tfl.nu/tdv6
  Replies (17) Good night (3489) Bad night (1475)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow

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  (402): I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow http://tfl.nu/h8bi
  Replies (10) Good night (1681) Bad night (4194)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Some one left their pants in the elevator.

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  (617): Some one left their pants in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/4aog
  Replies (7) Good night (4281) Bad night (826)
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  (094): View more from

  After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.

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  (094): After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while. http://tfl.nu/x4in
  Replies (3) Good night (2769) Bad night (911)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?

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  (908): You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you? http://tfl.nu/3hav
  Replies (11) Good night (2366) Bad night (1515)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine

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  (586): We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine http://tfl.nu/mpc6
  Replies (15) Good night (2877) Bad night (1556)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.

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  (313): Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/aqg4
  Replies (0) Good night (1212) Bad night (487)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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  (336): If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone. http://tfl.nu/bfil
  Replies (12) Good night (1242) Bad night (448)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me it was like eating gods vagina.

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  (413): he told me it was like eating gods vagina. http://tfl.nu/d5n4
  Replies (12) Good night (1400) Bad night (511)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.

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  (985): Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers. (504): This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot. http://tfl.nu/gotr
  Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (403)

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