You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo