I think I am morally bankrupt
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.