I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...