Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
