I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.