I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
