I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
