Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
