i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I will be naked everywhere
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
