I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
