Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
