i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
