I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
