Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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