i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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