what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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