Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
