I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
