Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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