that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
