my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
