Sponge bath it is.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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