I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
