I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
