She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
