Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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