he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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