Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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