just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
