I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
