you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
