Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
