She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
