There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
