Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize