all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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