my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
