Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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