I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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