We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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