Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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