Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
