there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
