Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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