BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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