I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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