I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish you could order shots online.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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