Moan for me like Helen Keller
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
