this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
