i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
