Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
