i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
