I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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